Day #28 in A Year of Positivity

“You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind.”
– Joyce Meyer

Hello and welcome to Day #28 in A Year of Positivity! The quote I chose for today’s post comes from Joyce Meyer, “You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind.” This is so incredibly true!

There was a time in my 20s that I tried to live a positive life, tried to be positive with everyone around me, but my mind prevented me from reaching my full potential. To be fair, though, I hadn’t yet faced traumatic events I had experienced as a teenager, with another one that followed in my 20s. This may surprise many people, but I once held a knife in my hand, and I had contemplated suicide because of a particular trauma I went through.

You see, I was raped, and I blamed myself completely for allowing what happened to me, to happen to me. No amount of showers made me feel clean for a while. I was petrified of reporting my rapist, and seeing him in a courtroom, so I’d kept it to myself. I didn’t even tell a single member of my family, let alone a friend. After contemplating suicide, I had decided it wasn’t a punishment to myself, but a solution that would hurt my loved ones more than it could hurt me. Like I said, I’d blamed myself for what happened, and deep down on a subconscious level, I felt I needed punishment more than taking myself out of the picture.

So, I put the knife back in the knife block in the kitchen when nobody was looking, and I fought like hell to bury the memory. I tried hard to forget it and live a positive life. Subconsciously, though, I kept fighting myself in every direction of my life. I couldn’t allow myself true happiness. The smile was there on my face but the negative thoughts were always there in the back of my mind. Eventually I sought help for all the traumas I went through, and I faced them. I’ve accepted that they’re a part of me and my past, and I’ve allowed them to shape me into the strong and positive person that I am today. I’ve done a lot of climbing to get to where I am, and I couldn’t have gotten there without telling myself I can do it, that life is mine for the taking.

You can do anything if you set your mind to it.
Don’t let the negativity keep you from living your best life.