Day #223 in A Year of Thanks:
I’m thankful for digital apps like ASL Bloom.

I’ve been putting off learning American Sign Language (ASL) to a more fluent level for as long as I possibly can. I’ve been focused mainly on trying to hear as much as I could throughout life, but as time wears on, my hearing has progressively gotten worse, and I’ll admit that the idea of going completely Deaf someday terrifies me. I know what I need to do to ensure my safety and everything else to ease my anxieties about it, should I truly go 100% Deaf, but I don’t want to lose my ability to hear at all. I don’t want to lose my ability to hear nature in all its beautiful glory (birds singing, wind blowing, crickets chirping), to hear music, to listen to the voices of the people I love, to hear them tell me they love me when I tell them I love them (or vice versa). I don’t want to lose my ability to do what I do at my job, which is very demanding of my hearing, but so richly rewarding in helping others in their time of need.

Yet, there are times when I wish I didn’t have to hear, so I wouldn’t have to overwork my brain all the time. Having it work so hard to hear and interpret every sound nearby in every waking moment gives me so many headaches and migraines. However, no one I personally know has ever committed to learning ASL to meet me where I’m at and talk to me without my hearing aids. ASL is primarily a “use it or lose it” language, so since no one has been willing to communicate with me via ASL, there was no point in my learning it. Instead, I have to go out of my way to fight every day just to make it easy and convenient for everyone else. If they’re soft-spoken, I even have to ask them multiple times to repeat themselves, which is frustrating for both of us. It’s one of the reasons why I hate large gatherings, and why I’m more content with being at home while making sure my home is a place of peace and solitude.

But, I’ve realized, if the Lord tarries long enough, and I do go Deaf at some point on this side of eternity, part of that preparation will need to include learning ASL. I don’t have any ASL communities near me in person, so I’ll need to find an online community to practice and communicate with. I kept seeing ads for an app called ASL Bloom, so I downloaded it. It’s pretty nifty and very user-friendly. For now, I’m brushing up on the very basics I used to know, and it’s reminding me just how beautiful the language is.

Day 222 | Day 223 | Day 224
Year of Thanks